He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
