North Korea, Best Korea!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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