I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
