i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
