And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
