When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
