You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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