Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
