I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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