is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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