My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
