Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i drank out of a bidet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
