He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
