just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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