Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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