Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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