I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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