How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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