Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
