so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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