So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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