it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
