I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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