My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize