My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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