a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
