Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
its not stalking. its research.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
