we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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