it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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