I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
