you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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