Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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