windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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