worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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