thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
