the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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