I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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