We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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