You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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