Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
