either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
