shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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