I wanna bring you to show and tell
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
