WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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