So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
