Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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