no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
