Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
