great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize