don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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