If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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