I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
