Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
