Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
