But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
