I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
