I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
