I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize