I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
