Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
