then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
