how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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