fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
