Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize