How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
