pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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