Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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