i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
