Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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