tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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