HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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