Dignity is for republicans.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize