I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
