On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
