WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
