then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize