If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
