She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
